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Feb 29 2012
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faith, happy, Life, Living Freely, Love, rant, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

Just Take the First Step

Can I just take a moment to tell you how good God is? Just a moment.

Many of you already know I left my last gig in January to finish working on my second novel and take some time out for myself. It was a pretty bold move and if you want to know more about that, the story is here. Anyhow, I was hard at work on my second novel, a sequel to Don’t Tell Your Cousin, and every morning I woke up, I went straight to writing. Not once did I click on Indeed, Career Builder, or any other job site to apply for a job. My main priority was my novel. I literally spent the last of my dollars to get this novel published. I had paid rent for January, February and March, so I knew I had until April before things got a little tight. I had friends and family call and ask me how my job search was going and I’d laugh and say, “What search? I’m busy writing this novel.” I got a few chuckles, head shakes, and words of concern, but I continued doing what brought me joy –writing.

Fast forward to February 16th. I received an email from a guy at CBS, asking if I was available to come in for an interview on Tuesday, February 21st. I didn’t see this email until Saturday night (Feb. 18th) and I responded, letting him know that I was available. On Tuesday, I arrived at the Prudential building on time, and nailed the interview. Of course he had other candidates to interview, so I wasn’t certain that I’d end up with the job, but hey, at least I got a nice tour around CBS. Today I received a call, offering me the job (basically doing what I was doing at my last job, but with waaaaay more perks, opportunities, connects, & money), and I accepted it.

I’m telling you this, not to let you know that I got a job at CBS, but to remind you about that one little step of faith I took, by leaving my last job, with no idea of what was to come. Y’all don’t understand, I HAVEN’T APPLIED TO A JOB SINCE LAST YEAR! How did he find me? I don’t know! But what I do know is, God is beyond awesome!

All I did was take the first step in faith.

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Feb 02 2012
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amazon, Don't Tell Your Cousin, happy, Life, Love, rant, Thinking aloud, write

Happy Birthday Gladys Santiago Kelly!

Two things:

First and foremost I wanted to wish my beautiful mother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I miss her so much and I wish I could hug her, kiss her, plan a getaway with her, have dinner with her, send her flowers, pay her a visit, take her shopping, write her a letter, buy her somthing nice, tell her how much I love her…

But I can’t. She’s not here. She’s been gone since I was eight. And there isn’t a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about her. I know she lives on through me, but… I just wish she was here. I never really knew what it felt like to have a mother. I mean, yes, I’ve had a step mother but as I mentioned in this post, no one will ever take the place of your parents. Be Grateful. Appreciate them. Love them and hold them close to your heart.

I LOVE YOU MOM! Happy Birthday!

P.s. Happy belated birthday to my Aunt Doris as well. I hope you and my mom are celebrating in heaven.

I decided to give away FREE (yes FREE!) copies of my book today! Get your copy from Amazon here

It’s a celebration! Thanks for celebrating with me…

Happy Birthday, Mom

 

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Jan 25 2012
2 Comments
Don't Tell Your Cousin, happy, Life, Living Freely, rant, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

Checking In

I justed wanted to take the time out to thank all of my readers for their love and support! I know I haven’t blogged lately, but it’s only because I’m hard at work on my second novel and I can’t wait to get it out  to you all! I’m so excited about it. If you thought the first book was craaaaaaaazy, wait until you read the sequel! I bet you’re wondering what’s to come. ;)  You’ll know soon. To everyone who hasn’t read Don’t Tell Your Cousin, check it out and brace yourself for part 2!

Also, as many of you already know from my last post… I quit my job. Oddly, I’ve spent way more time working on my second novel than I have on Career Builder and Indeed in search of a new one. But hey, you have to do what makes you happy, right? I thank God for giving me the courage to step out on faith and leave behind a role that no longer served me. My first week without working a day job was absolutely fantastic! I don’t know where I’ll be in a couple of months, but worrying will serve me no purpose. Be blessed everyone. Live out your dreams.

XOXO,

Veronica

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Dec 31 2011
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amazon, Don't Tell Your Cousin, happy, Life, Living Freely, Love, rant, self love, Uncategorized, write, writing

I chose Happiness!

Yesterday I put in  my resignation letter. I don’t have another job lined up nor did I become a best selling author overnight that somehow awarded me the luxury of quitting my job. I was simply sitting at my desk, tired, bored, drained and unfulfilled. I knew it was time to leave. I didn’t think it was fair to myself or the company to do “just enough to get by” and call it a day. I handled over a hundred accounts and the job is a very detailed oriented “give it all you got” type of position. Not only did I have supervisors and managers that I had to answer to, I had great relationships with branch managers (including a branch in Canada) and I didn’t want to do a half ass job managing their receivables. It just wasn’t fair. I knew it was time to move on from the company considering that my pay wasn’t absolutely through the roof either. I was settling and complacent even though I was tired of the cubicle life. I was more focused on finishing my second novel (the sequel to my first novel), than coming to work and being the best AR (accounts receivable) person I could be. But the real issue came when my nine to five issues started pouring over to other areas of my life. I came home drained and my creative juices weren’t flowing as much as they should’ve been. I was too tired to hop on the computer and write anything. I couldn’t focus on writing a book with this kind of energy and mindset. Forty hours a week is a hell of a lot of time to be sitting around doing something you don’t love or at least enjoy. I figured I would rather be working at an arts and crafts store (something not as strenuous and detailed) than a really heavy day job that would require too much detailed attention. Honestly I’m much too sociable and creative to be chained to a desk doing mundane task. I’d rather get out there and be around people or get involved with the community. I want to wake up every morning and write without the need for a day job. I’ve been with this company for six years (moved to Atlanta and came back) and it was simply time for me to part ways. The best thing of all is that it came from a peaceful place. I didn’t go to my manager complaining about the work environment and demanding a raise, I walked in her office with my resignation letter and told her the truth. I wasn’t focused. My heart and mind is on my book and I would rather give this position to someone who’s better suited to handle it. She totally understood and said I have a entrepreneurial spirit, totally respected my decision and that she was rooting for me and if I need any letters of recommendations or whatever, let her know. Her words were very encouraging. I thanked her and gave her a hug. It felt really good. I told her that I didn’t have another gig lined up and that I was stepping out on faith, and hopefully I won’t end up homeless and hungry since I’ll officially be a starving artist for awhile. We laughed. Nearly all of my friends and family told me I should’ve waited until I had another job lined up because “it’s hard out here, you know with the recession,” or “you should at least let them fire you and get unemployment.” And while I totally wholeheartedly understood their concerns, Lord knows I’m scared as hell I felt moved to act now despite the circumstances. I gave up my comfort zone and chose happiness… and possibly homelessness, lol.

P.S. A special THANK YOU to all of  my readers and everyone that has shown their support for my novel! I truly appreciate the support and I can’t wait to  get the sequel out! Granted my electricity stays on long enough to get it completed. :)

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.

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Jul 17 2011
2 Comments
rant, shopping, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

Just Me, Myself & I…

Sometimes it’s good to sit around and do nothing at all. It’s a beautiful sunny day in Chicago and I spent it lounging around my apartment all day. I’m not even wearing clothes (looks over myself). It’s really one of those free, lazy, chill mode type of days. I haven’t even turned on the TV. I did get the dishes washed though (yay me!). I got a couple of phone calls from friends and siblings asking me to hang out. Didn’t happen. I’m enjoying my own company right now, doing absolutely nothing at all. I’m sitting next to an opened window, so the outside noises are making their way inside. But you won’t tempt me outside noises! I’m not moving. Just relaxing. So often I feel the need to be on the go, always out on the move trying to keep up with the world. It becomes tedious. It has almost become more normal to be “out” and on the go doing nothing, than sitting in the house alone doing nothing. I actually enjoy spending time alone. I’m liberated. I making time to chill out and calm the chatter in my mind and allow my body a day off from the long tiring work week. How many people actually enjoy their own company?

Last year I took a solo trip to Toronto, Canada and had the most amazing time by myself. I got up when I wanted, shopped where I wanted, ate where I wanted, talked and mingled with who I wanted, had dinner in the CN Tower alone (beautiful views by the way), went for a boat ride on Lake Ontario, and did one of those double decker bus tours, what an experience it was! I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. I will do it agin! The people there weren’t friendly and I’m a pretty sociable person myself so I definitely wouldn’t have had a problem finding someone to hang out with while I was there. In fact plenty of people were trying to hang out with me. (Especially for my birthday and since they thought I was so “cool” for just hanging out in another county solo, lol.) Girls from the clothing stores all wanted to hang out, the store manager in BCBG gave me her card and told me to call her so we could party (I never did), another girl from the boat ride asked where I was having dinner later (she was there solo too, only she was from Montreal) and plenty of guys wanted to hang out (of course). I avoided them all. I was having too much fun by myself and didn’t want to interrupt my “groove.” I did have a drink (that I didn’t finish btw because I dislike the taste of alcohol) with the one guy ( I think he was from Peru) at the hotel bar. It was the night of my birthday and he wanted to “show me around”. Mind you, it was at least 10 pm their time. It was night out and I had an early morning flight to catch. This guy had to be nuts to think I’d leave the hotel premises with him. It  gets creepier: He wasn’t even a guest of the hotel. Of course while he was talking and practically begging me to take a walk with him I was making a mental note NOT to go straight up to my hotel room. I thanked him for the drink and conversation and casually walked out of the bar like I was headed up to my room. I casually glanced behind me (intuition) and saw him exit the bar with his eyes fixed on me. Yeah, I definitely was NOT about to end up on Cold Case Files on my birthday night. So I played it cool and walked over to the front desk agent and whispered to him.

Me: (leaned over the counter) Hey, shhhhhh, don’t make it obvious, but I think I’m being followed. Is it a strange guy standing around?

The front desk looked over my shoulder as I turned my head to look back (so much for me not being obvious). Yep, that “friendly guy from the bar that owned his own business” just happened to walk past and look over at me. I smiled as if all were well and looked back at the front dest agent.

Agent: Yeah, he’s suspicious. Would you like for me to have securtiy escort you to your room?

Me: Nah. I don’t want it to be too obvious that I’m on to him ( whatever I assumed the guy was on). He’s not even a guest in the hotel.

Agent: Really? Ok, I’ll walk you up and we’ll take a different way up.

Me: Thanks! (smile.)

The agent and I hopped on an elevator different from the one that I usually used to get to my room. We had had small “elevator talk” about the strange guy and I filled him in on my encounter with him at the bar. Anyhoo, I arrived to my room safe and sound. And that was my little crazy adventure while away.  ……and what was the point of me telling you all of this again? I think I had flashbacks…

Anyway, I received an email from the front desk agent a couple of days later at work, checking up on me. How nice of him. Brownie points for Sheraton Centre Toronto hotel’s staff, I enjoyed my stay!

FYI- I know I mentioned this on a previous post, but Toronto has some phenomenal shopping!

Yeah, so back to the original topic… I really enjoy my own company! Lol.

 

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Jun 11 2011
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I said it..., If you can't say something nice...still say it, It needs to be said, rant, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

Admirer in Disguise

Hey you

leave her alone

tend to your own

don’t be afraid to be as beautiful as you secretly think she is

you admire her but won’t tell her

instead you talk about her

laugh at her to your friends

but you still notice her

you give her attention

there’s something you like about her

be bold and compliment her

don’t belittle her

you can’t dim her light

she shines

you shine too

but you’re so blinded by her brightness

You aren’t aware of your own

Hey pretty girl

No not her, you

See, you’re beautiful too

You just don’t realize it

that’s the difference between her and you

She bask in her glory

you bask in her glory too

But you have your own

Give her room, let her shine

There’s enough spotlight for the both of you

No need to down her

She deserves a standing ovation

You can sit and watch her or rise to the occasion

 

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May 27 2011
2 Comments
I said it..., It needs to be said, rant, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

I’m Just Saying…

I never thought starting my second novel would be so difficult. It’s frustrating. I’m overwhelmed. Confused. Uncertain. Aaaahhhh (that’s me screaming).

So my first novel has been around for almost two months (okay, not too long) and I’m excited about it. I’ve sold waaayyy more than I did last month (that’s when I announced my creation to the world) and  that makes me happy. The reviews make me happy…the good and the not so good. I am thankful for them. Good reviews makes my heart smile, makes me feel like “Hey, you really are a writer.” It’s exciting to know that someone actually took hours, days, or even weeks out of their precious life to read my work…and enjoyed it. I like entertaining my readers. I think that’s what stories are all about, escaping your life and peeking into and hopefully becoming engrossed in someone else’s. Some readers have become engrossed in my story while other readers said to themselves, “uh, I’ll pass.” I thank them for taking a peek anyway. When I received my first “not so good” review, I was crushed and said to myself “Damn, I suck. My life is over, I’m not a writer.”  Okay, no I didn’t, but that’s definitely how I felt. The few “not so good reviews” stuck out more to me than the numerous “good reviews.” In the end, it’s all in how you look at criticism. You can bury your head or you can rise to the challenge. In the end I have nothing to prove, but I do like to improve, so keep all the reviews coming. :)

I want to give a round of applause to every writer, artist, singer, rapper, chef, graphic designer, painter, dancer, poet, designer, actor/actress, hairstylist, etc. for I have learned how much courage it takes to put your creation on display for the world to dissect and rip apart. I find myself much more in tune with things I took for granted before. For example, at my gig (I still have bills to pay while working on my dream of doing nothing but writing and traveling the world) there’s a chef that comes in and whip up meals for lunch. Even from where I sit, I can hear him whistling to himself as he cut up carrots and broccoli for his broccoli of cream soup. One day I walked into the kitchen for a glass of ice water and again he was whistling to himself as he prepared salads for lunch. As I filled my glass with water and ice I glanced over at him. He was too engrossed in his work to notice me staring. In his mind it was just him and the food he was preparing in the room. That’s passion. He enjoyed dressing up his salads. He didn’t just throw salad fixings together and sell them. He took his time and with his passion turned something as simple as a salad to art. It was his art-form. I smiled. I was inspired. Suddenly a coworker walked in and asked “Chef, what’s for lunch?” He could’ve simply responded, “salad.” But to him it wasn’t just a salad. He went on to list everything that was in the salad, from lettuce, to carrots, to chicken breast, to pineapples and so forth. It sounded delicious and looked delicious. After taking a peek, the coworker responded, “how much?” the chef said, “Seven bucks, soup is available as well.”  The coworker responded, “Seven bucks? For that? It shouldn’t be no more than five dollars. It’s just a salad.”

I thought the salad was good by the way and a nice amount for the cost. Some disagreed and hated that they wasted their seven bucks.  And even now, even if he’s only selling six seven dollar salads, he still craftily whips it together, whistling and humming to himself all the while. I don’t know what my purpose for telling you that story was, but I knew what it felt like to be him.

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May 20 2011
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rant, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write

How Deeply I Need HIM…

So I decided that I want “How Deeply I Need You,” by Shekinah Glory Ministry to be the song that I walk down the aisle to. Actually I think I’ll be able to fit the whole wedding party in. Even better. The version I’m listening to now is nearly Eleven minutes long. It’s such a beautiful song. I want a beautiful summer wedding outdoors with soft mesmerizing wedding colors. I still haven’t decided between a horse and carriage or a classic Rolls Royce (white). Maybe I’ll come in one and leave in the other. And my lucky “husband to be” will be the perfect gentleman. He’ll cry when he sees me walking down the aisle to join him to partake in the rest of his life. Ok, he won’t cry, but he’ll definitely wipe away at least one tear. He’ll be a man of character, loyalty and honesty. He’ll be my best friend. He’ll domesticate me, turn me from a single woman to a wife. He’ll make me want to learn how to cook, make me unselfish, tame me, make me submissive. I’ll listen to him, care for him, cook for him, clean for him, love him, hug him, kiss him, and grow old with him. We’ll share good times, great laughs, and have beautiful and healthy children (or not have any children at all. I’m still not 100% certain that I want children, but I’m open to change). Our families will happily become one and expand. We’ll go on vacations and travel the world. I’ll be loyal to him, trustworthy, reliable, and appreciative. I’ll support him on all his endeavors. He’ll support me. We’ll encourage one another. He’ll inspire me to step into my own greatness. He won’t allow me to feel sorry for myself, won’t pity me, he’ll uplift me. I’ll do the same. He’ll make me feel protected. He’ll be my king.We’ll be deserving of each other……..

This song really makes my imagination run wild.

I’m looking forward to the man I’m marrying more than the wedding itself.

Anyway, have a listen click on youtube.

May 12 2011
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Don't Tell Your Cousin, It needs to be said, rant, Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

UPDATE!!!!

With all my heart

Hi,

I can’t stop thanking everyone for all of the love and support I’ve received on my first novel, Don’t Tell Your Cousin. I’m overjoyed and so grateful for it all! Listed below are some of the exciting things that’s going on that I wanted to share with you all. My first interview…I can’t even explain how exciting that was. I thank BelleBooks for the interview, book review and giveaway (which ends on the 15th, so enter to win a free e-copy)! I thank God for giving me the guidance needed to make it this far, for giving me the boost of courage and confidence needed to go after what my heart desires despite all my fears and self doubts. This is just the beginning. Oh and a special thanks to everyone who posted reviews. I read them all, keep on posting! I’m looking forward to starting my next book.

You guys can also follow me on Twitter @VeronicaEKelly1

Author interview 

http://bellebooksx.blogspot.com/2011/05/author-interview-veronica-e-kelly.html

Book review 

http://bellebooksx.blogspot.com/2011/05/review-dont-tell-your-cousin-veronica-e.html

Book giveaway

http://bellebooksx.blogspot.com/2011/05/dont-tell-your-cousin-giveaway.html

E-books

Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Tell-Your-Cousin-ebook/dp/B004V4H68A/ref=sr_1_1_title_1_ke?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1304781076&sr=1-1

Barnes & Noble

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Dont-Tell-Your-Cousin/Veronica-E-Kelly/e/2940012664167/?itm=1&USRI=don%27t+tell+your+cousin

Paperback 

Createspace

https://www.createspace.com/3596609

Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Tell-Cousin-Veronica-Kelly/dp/1461092426/ref=sr_1_1_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1305233627&sr=1-1


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May 07 2011
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Nothing good to say about something so bad, rant, There's no pretty way to say this..., Thinking aloud, Uncategorized, write, writing

No Happy Mother’s Day For Me

Mother’s Day is depressing for me. It reminds me that I don’t have a mother. It makes me revisit the painful memories of seeing her being laid to rest. It makes me remember seeing her casket lowered in the ground when I was just eight years old. It makes me remember  running upstairs the day of her repast and sitting on the bed, in the room alone and wondering why everyone was downstairs, wondering why everyone was over our house, wondering why everyone was hugging me, my twin, and older brother and feeling sorry for us. I remember riding in a black limo to her funeral. I remember seeing her body in a casket and wondering why she didn’t look like herself. I remember her body being dressed in a peach colored dress. I remember all my friends in the neighborhood being there. I think they felt sorry for me too. They didn’t quite feel like “friends” that day, just more onlookers pitying me. Mother’s Day makes me remember the day my aunt came home from the hospital to tell me and my twin brother that our mom was no longer with us. I remember my older cousin holding me on her lap crying. I was confused. I was sad. I remember going upstairs to grab a photo of my mom sitting by a Christmas Tree smiling. She didn’t look sick then. I remember holding that photo and staring at it while sitting on a recliner chair, her recliner chair she always sat in when she came home from the hospital. I remember falling asleep on the brown recliner chair still holding the picture of her as if it was my last moment with her. Who was going to help me grow up? How could I not have a mother anymore? I was only eight and I didn’t have a mother anymore. I remember it being a really sad Thanksgiving, she died in November. I hate that month. I hate how life changed afterwards. I hate how my mother’s family and my dad bickered over custody of us. I hated going to court. I hated having to choose sides. I loved everybody and I just wanted my mother back. I remember moving away from my neighborhood friends. I sit here at 26 revisiting age 8. That’s what this day does to me. I think I repressed it for a quite some time. But that doesn’t make what I remember go away. I grew up with a sort of emptiness. I grew up looking on at my friends’ interactions with their mothers and wondering what it would have been like to have one. A real one. I had a stepmother, but it wasn’t the same. A real mother can never be replaced. I encourage people with mothers still living to appreciate them while they’re here. God what I would do for a chance to call up my mom to tell her about my day, tell her about a guy that I like, to tell her about a broken heart, to tell her about a new dress I bought, to ask her if she was free to have lunch, to tell her about the books I sold, to tell her that I published a book. God, what does that feel like? Stuff that people take for granted, something as little as a phone conversation with their mother. And while everyone is out looking for the perfect gift to give to their mom, I’m out looking for the prettiest flowers to lay on her grave. It still hurts. I miss her. I smile though. At 26 I understand things I didn’t understand at 8. Everyone that I thought pitied me that day, the day she died, loved me.  And my mother’s family and my dad fought for us because they all loved us (my twin and I). And I thank my stepmother for taking us in and taking on the responsibility of raising two children that wasn’t her own. And although we had out differences growing up, I think she did a great job with us. I know my mother thanks her. I thank my dad for not abandoning us and being there every step of the way. I thank my older brother for being there for us and keeping her memory alive. I thank my older cousin, who sat and cried with me when she heard the news, for stepping in and playing a mother figure. And to my twin brother who I love so much and hope I’ll never have to live a day without ( we came in together, we’re leaving together dammit), I thank him for being by my side and enduring all the hardships that come when a parent dies. I know he loves and misses my mother deeply and I know he still represses a lot of the memories too. Tomorrow we’ll go buy the prettiest flowers and sit them on her grave and smile at knowing that she’d be so proud of us today.

I love you mom.

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